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As a somewhat pointless public service, Sean will dedicate a few moments out of every week to keep Dark Crazy listeners up to speed on all his favorite teeny-bopper melodramas.

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A Kindness of Strangers is a novel of murder and madness written by Sean Gilbert and Brooks Robinson. Each half-hour episode is another chilling chapter. Preview intro

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FEATURED ARTISTS:

Bob Gentry - "Upside Down"

Anne Davis - "Where the Roads Cross"

Andy Zipf - "Are We Going Down?"

Stuckey & Murray - "Taking a Dump at Work"

You can find them on the Podsafe music network, and you can hear them on this month's edition of The Dark Crazy Show.

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Glamour Turquoise presents their first single, Out of Nowhere, exclusively on the Dark Crazy Soundstage!

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Hamburger Music

by Jason Wilson

I ride a lot of elevators... I sit on hold a lot on the phone... let me tell you something, though. If you want quality muzak, you go to your nearest Burger King. I first discovered this about 5 years ago, but tonight as I was enjoying my whopper (which ain't on my diet) I heard the most wonderful rendition of "beast of burden" followed by a wonderful cover of motorhead's "eat the rich". OK, I made up the "eat the rich" part, but "beast of burden" actually played. The stones should be proud.

Here's what I'm wondering... I mentioned that 5 years ago I noted the BK's foothold on top notch easy listening renderings of the classics. When I worked at University of West GA, I would partake in the big king meal deal fairly regularly (which led to the aforementioned diet). One day as I sat in the Carrollton Burger King I heard the muzak version of "thank you for being a friend"... you know, the golden girls theme. 2 thoughts come to mind...was the original just too rockin' to play as it was? Secondly, what exactly determines the 'muzak-worthiness' of a song? Why not "eat the rich"?

It just seems like there are a million songs that would come to mind to cover, before the golden girls theme song. I don't think I've heard Eddie Money's "take me home tonight" redone yet....VERY worthy, in my opinion (as a side note, when I get drunk you should see what this fuckin song does to me... James has seen it happen. It's awful the dance moves that eddie can milk out of my body. Ha! I said Eddie "milks" something outta my body. That's rich!). "we built this city" seems to 'built' for muzak. How about "smells like teen spirit"? Why the fuck not? I just can't believe it even occured to anyone to cover "thank you for being a friend". Is there a muzak version of the theme from maude?

How the hell do i get into this muzak line of business? I'm in the wrong career, dammit.

I Put the Squa in Square

by Sean Gilbert

(I don't know what that means)

So I decide for no good reason and quite suddenly that I need some new CD's and run to Best Buy. I don't even have a particular CD in mind; I just want something new.

Here are my picks (in alphabetical order, the order in which they were selected): The Very Best of Crowded House, The Dan Band Live, The Dead Milkmen: Now We Are 20, Tom Waits: Frank's Wild Years.

Because, you know, I never know what I'm going to be in the mood for.

So here are some thoughts on this admittedly eclectic selection of albums (which is what I still call them):

The Very Best of Crowded House - First, note how this is not a Greatest Hits album. That's because these guys only had 2 hits, and their both on here. I like those songs, but the rest is pretty mellow even compared to what I've heard. They're kind of a toned-down Tears for Fears, but they put the emphasis on melodic vocals, which I like. All in all, this is a better album to relax to than rock out to.

The Dan Band Live - You might have noticed these guys in "Starsky & Hutch" or "Old School" (where they were more prominently featured). It's basically just a lounge act where they cover girly songs like Wilson Phillips' "Hold On" or Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart", but they bump up the tempo and throw in a lot of profanity. It's a surprisingly effective formula. This is mostly a live album with a couple of studio tracks tacked on at the end.

The Dead Milkmen: Now We Are 20 - This is just a reissue of the "Now We Are 10" album, I guess? It's a collection of live club recordings and home recordings. I guess this is just for the superfans. Personally, I don't like raw recordings and early 4-track demos being released as albums. I mean, you don't see big-time film directors saying "hey, here's a DVD of all my home movies!" That's what I always hated about the Grateful Dead. Their marketing strategy was simple: "I just recorded myself taking a shit this morning, but I guess I'll slap a sticker of these dancing bears on it and I can get a bunch of assholes to buy it!"

Tom Waits: Frank's Wild Years - I won't listen to this in the car, because some music is banned while driving. I had a bad experience on I-75 listening to Nick Cave's "Murder Ballads", so I try to restrict myself to music that promotes positive vibes, especially on long trips. So I went home and put this one in the stereo. About halfway through it my cousin walks in, and I think "man, maybe I should turn it off," because Waits is pretty weird if you've never heard him before. But to my amazement, my cousin proceeds to lie down on the couch and fall asleep! That put him up a notch in my book. Anyone who can be lulled into slumber by Waits' ogre-ish operatics is okay with me. You gotta love Tom Waits. He's literally the jazz man from Hell.

So that's what I've been listening to. Again, I'm aware that I'm not cool.

but wait there's more...

by Jason Wilson

While im drunk and writing pointless shit, how 'bout this? I was thinking about this "top 100 punk bands" bulletin [going around on MySpace] and I happened to be visiting the Pegboy MySpace page and I started thinking. there are some bands that were pretty goddamn good that will only be a footnote at best in some book on punk rock. You'll never see a punk documentary or book on the genre really talk about them... bands like Pegboy or Naked Raygun or Reagan Youth. Hell, even Fear, Subhumans(UK), and Circle Jerks get very little mention, but I'm not necessarily talking about them. Fear and Circle Jerks at least get their moment in "decline..." and they're well known as legends anyways. You follow what I mean here? You hear about the Pistols, Black Flag, Bad Brains, and Clash, but there are some bands that never really seem to get any notice... mostly american bands of the early and mid 80's... Big Black is another good example. even that new documentary by Don Letts "Punk:Attitude" says at one point, "no one ever talks about what happened to punk in the 80's... it's like everyone thinks that there is this giant gap and then Nirvana came out, which isn't true", and then they proceed to skip over this gap they just talked about!

There's a documentary coming out based on the "American Hardcore" book, so I'm interested to see who exactly is featured in this.
So anyone care to name some of these bands I'm talking about? Anyone give a shit at all? Goddamn, I'm going back to the bottle....